You truly want to love and embrace your body, just the way it is, without trying to force it into a too-small pair of jeans while sucking your breath in sharply, or worrying about your slightly wobbly-bat-wing-arms…. but that nagging, annoying voice in your head keeps telling you that you need to be smaller, thinner, firmer… that life would be better then.
You don’t want to diet or follow ridiculously-strict food rules and detoxes anymore. Oh my gosh no, you’ve had enough of white-knuckling the latest diet fad.
But the thing is – when you’re not dieting, and you see your weight climbing on the scales, you feel panic… sheer, unadulterated panic, the same sort of panic you get at the top of a rollercoaster (yes the one your kids laugh while riding. sigh).
How high will my weight go? When will it end? Will it ever end? Or will I keep eating until I explode like that kid in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
On the one hand – you don’t want to diet anymore. But on the other hand – you really don’t want to get any bigger than you are.
But there’s no guarantee you can have one without the other – if you stop dieting, if you eat intuitively, you don’t know if or how much weight you might gain.
You feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. And it’s really tough, like REALLY tough to be in this spot.
But the thing is, it’s actually something else you’re stuck between…
“I wouldn’t wear that outfit to dance if I had a body that size….” he said while we all watched Dancing With The Stars on TV. And it caught my breath.
What gave him the right to judge a woman’s body and dress choices? I’d love to pass it off as something the older generations in our culture do and say. But let’s face it – that attitude about woman’s bodies is everywhere.
Female newsreaders get hammered every week about the clothes they wear and what their body looks like. While no-one blinks twice at the male newsreader. Like Australian newsreader Karl Stefanovic who wore the same blue suit every day on TV for a year… what happened?
No-one noticed his boring-to-the-extreme wardrobe.
They were too busy criticising his female colleague’s every inch of being.
We live in a diet culture that obsesses over the size of our bodies – most especially women’s bodies. We’re reminded at every turn by family, friends, the TV, radio, magazines, the internet, our workmates and more… that what we look like must meet the unwritten social standards of perfection.
And sitting there waiting for you to inevitably fail, is the diet industry. They keep pushing your buttons, agitating those pains you feel, so you feel so bad about yourself you sign up for another pointless, hopeless weight-loss diet, that’s bound to fail (again).
But here’s the important thing.
Your body is made to hug your loved ones, to carry your babies, to read books, to drive your kids to sports games, to carry you from home to work, to load food in the shopping trundler, to kick footballs, to make meals, to climb trees, to hike hills, to swim oceans.
Your body is not a Christmas bauble that hangs on a tree.
Your body is not a pretty ornament to stick on the mantelpiece and dust once a month.
Think about one of your best friends right now – think about the amazing times you’ve had together, the things you’ve done, the laughs you’ve had, the support you’ve given each other, the joy of knowing they are there and have your back.
Now balance that against what she looks like. How much joy do her looks give you? Little? None? You couldn’t care less what she looks like?
Cos here’s the thing – what really matters about you, your true value, is what’s inside you.
Your friend is no more valuable as a size 12 than a size 16. And you’re no more valuable when you weight 5kg more or less.
Here are four beautiful body affirmations to remind you how valuable you are:
I am worthy of love and respect no matter what size I am
My body is an instrument, not an ornament
My value is not measured in pounds or inches
My true value lies inside, not outside
P.S. Wanna change your focus and get more positive about your body and life? Check out this blog post.